How To Be Introvert Person – Do you feel exhausted after socializing? Could it be a meeting, a Zoom call, a networking event, a party, a family dinner…or really any situation where you’re in a crowd?

Do you sometimes feel overwhelmed in large crowds or when there is a lot of noise and activity around you?

How To Be Introvert Person

How To Be Introvert Person

I didn’t always know I was an introvert. For most of my 20s I wondered what was wrong with me that I was exhausted so often. I enjoyed being around other people, but I would come home from events or dinners drained. If I go to too many meetings or events in one day or week, I’ll feel almost hungover (minus the fun part). No amount of sleep seemed to fix it, and I beat myself up for not being able to deal with…life.

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I had heard the words introvert and extrovert, but associated them with shyness or sociability. Neither seemed like an accurate description to me, so they didn’t connect.

Like the attributes of introversion and extroversion, I learned that introversion and extroversion have to do with where you get your energy from and what drains it.

There are, of course, more detailed descriptions and attributes. Introversion and extroversion are also a spectrum rather than a binary. You can access traits of both personality types, but you will tend to lean towards one or the other. Some people are further to one side or the other, with most people somewhere in the middle of the spectrum.

Being an introvert doesn’t mean you’re antisocial, shy, or timid (although you may be any of those things). Being an introvert is neither good nor bad, but rather a way of being. Once you understand this way of being and how it relates to you, you can make conscious decisions about how you manage your energy in relation to it.

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Being an introvert means, basically, that you use up energy when you’re with other people and need time alone to recharge your energy.

One of the tools that helped me realize that I was an introvert was the personality test. I took one as part of a mentoring group I was a part of and that was what precipitated my light bulb moment. It gave language to how I felt after being around a lot of people and why I was so tired all the time.

I am most familiar with the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, which you can try with a free version or make an official paid version.

How To Be Introvert Person

Personality tests are full of broad generalities that should be taken with a grain of salt. Instead, personality tests should be treated as tools for self-reflection. They are indicators of trends, not hard and fast rules. Personality tests provide a framework for thinking about yourself that can help you make decisions about how you approach different parts of your life.

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Having the language to describe why I felt the way I did, as well as learning that I was an introvert, was a game changer for me. Beyond understanding

I felt the way I did, I was able to be more conscious about the decisions I made, the way I planned my days and weeks, which made a huge impact on how I felt. Realizing that I needed quiet time alone to recharge also changed the way I thought about and approached self-care.

If you relate at all to my feelings above and think you might be (or already know you are) an introvert, here are some ways you can be more conscious of increasing your energy.

One way to apply the knowledge of being an introvert is to think about the people you interact with on a regular basis. How do you feel after being around them? Some people are more energy intensive than others. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, you just need to know.

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In my post “How to Find and Partner With the Right People: A Venn Diagram for Life” I cover many different aspects of surrounding yourself with

. Your right people are the ones who mean the most to you, and vice versa. This is a good starting point for considering WHY you spend time with someone, the value you bring to each other, and whether they are an energetic person.

For example, you may have a friend who is loud, outgoing, and a person who loves to party. The stereotypical extrovert! You can still be friends and enjoy spending time with them, but you can also make sure you limit

How To Be Introvert Person

Another example could be someone in your life who complains, who constantly gives you out without thinking about how you feel. These are people you want to limit your interaction with, set clear boundaries about what types of interaction you have with them (like limiting your conversations to phone calls), or even stop spending time with them altogether.

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You have so much energy to give each day. It makes sense to focus as much of your energy as possible on the people you identify as your Right People and minimize your interactions with people who are not. If you’re not aware of your energy levels and who you’re giving your energy to, it’s easy to end up with fumes.

. My days were packed with meetings and I went to evening events 3 or 4 nights a week. Not so shockingly, I started to feel burnt out and disengaged, even though many of the things I was doing were important to me. I realized that I didn’t have the energy for all the things I was committed to, so I had to scale back and choose the ones that were most important to my business or to me.

For example, if you volunteer for a community organization where you often work at events that involve tasks like selling tickets or working a booth, you will have many interactions that would be exhausting for an introvert. That might be fine, but you could consider alternative ways to give time to the same organization, such as being on their board, which meets once a month and is probably a small group.

Many of you are guided by your weekly calendars. I know I am. There are projects to stay on top of, meetings to attend, events to go to (zooming or in person). If I’m not careful, my schedule starts to look like a unicorn stuck on it with all the different color-coded calendars scattered throughout each day.

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As an introvert, I have to intentionally set boundaries on when and how many meetings and events each week, or I risk burning out.

You’ll have different controls over what your schedule looks like depending on the nature of your work and your role. Some of you will have complete control and be able to choose when to schedule things, others will mostly only be able to control social and family commitments.

Of course there are always exceptions to these and sometimes I have to take morning appointments or take a Friday appointment. The important part is to be aware of your energy levels and try to work

How To Be Introvert Person

My inner introvert wants to curl up in a ball and cry when I look at my calendar and see this rainbow of appointments and commitments. And it still happens sometimes, but much less often than before, because now I know that when I cross my boundaries, I regret it. It affects my ability to focus and engage…with anything really.

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It took me a while to learn my boundaries, but over time they became clearer. I get a slight headache, one ear gets blocked and my thinking is slow. My clothes are starting to feel uncomfortable and everything seems very noisy. If I really overdo it, I get a migraine (which no one wants).

I know that large group events take a lot more energy than one-on-one meetings. I also know that if I plan too many meetings in a day, I shouldn’t even bother going to an evening event because I’ll be completely disengaged and spend the whole time counting the minutes until I can make a polite exit.

These limits may be the number, size, or type of meetings or events each day and each week. It could be when you schedule them. This is all you can do to increase your energy.

Self-care is kind of a woo-woo term these days, but the premise I want you to consider is that self-care, whatever that means to you, is a competitive advantage in life. Knowing what your limits are, how to protect your energy, and what to do to replenish your energy reserves when they are low pays dividends.

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Do you know what fuels you? Something to keep in mind is that there is a difference between sleep and rest, numbness and comfort. It’s not just about

Endlessly scrolling through social media is a good example of numbness. You probably don’t feel more energetic when you end up blinking away from your screen, and you probably feel worse.

Self-care can be anything. Baking, reading, walking, doing puzzles,

How To Be Introvert Person

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